japan

my heart breaks for the people of japan.

i have just stopped several times over the past few days just lifting up the country in prayer.

i pray that people are able to see the glory and might of the Lord in all the distress.

i read this story on cnn tonight and was shocked. this man was swept 9 miles out in the ocean and clinging to anything he could find...and is still alive! amazing.

psalm 71:3

"be to me a rock of refuge,

to which i may continually come;

you have give the command to save me,

for you are my rock and my fortress."

pray for the people of japan to come to the Lord as their rock of refuge.

love & peace.

a new year...

...new understandings

...new things to be explored

...new things to examine

...new friendships

...new excitement

...new challenges

those are a few things that come to mind as 2010 closed its doors and 2011 came in right on its heals. i learned a lot in 2010. probably the number one thing i had to learn was forgiveness...and by no means do i have it figure out. but by His grace, love, and mercy shown towards me, it gives me the ability to offer forgiveness to each other. it still doesn't make it easy, but easier.

i like that the end of one year and the starting of another causes us to stop and reexamine a few things in our lives. now most of these things that are reexamined never change(old habits die hard). but it is nice thought!

but i thought i would give you a few things that i would like to see(God willing of course!) for 2011:

-find.a.man. whew. there, i said it. a man who loves jesus.

-reading. i would love to read more. stop messing around on the the internet and pick up an actual paperback book.

-cooking. i want to cook more.

-interviews. i need to brush up on my interview skills. i am my worst critic. i sell myself short so many times in interviews and i am sure talk people out of hiring me for jobs.

-craftiness. i want to use my creative juices more. sewing. painting. the list goes on.

well those are enough things to keep me busy for 2011 for awhile. i have several more in my head that i am trying to piece together.

while i enjoy having these things to change in the next year, i am so thankful that my God doesn't change. He never stops with his grace, love, and mercy. He never changes. i want to cling to Him this year more than anything. hold me accountable. when the idols creep in, slap me across the face and point out Scripture to me.

i will leave you with this verse:

psalm 63:1

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

happy new 2011.

love.

apartment

my favorite place in my apartment would be....

the kitchen table!

our living room is not much further away, but some how we always meet up at the table to have our 'talks'. not bad 'talks', but good 'talks' that knock some sense into me. the girls have been there to knock the sense back into me and while i have just cried at the table. but they have always brought it back to the Gospel and pointed me to Him. the roommates are great and it is amazing to see how the Lord brought the three of us together in these specific stages in life. i love them.

love,

my week in pictures

let me just say, it hasn't been my best week. i felt really defeated in a particular area in my life for most of the week. it was eating me alive and i was becoming really bitter and angry. i was not allowing the Lord to be victorious in my life. several people came along side me to encourage me and talk me through it. i am so very thankful for people like that in my life.

the candy bouquet came from mom and pop as a way of encouraging me and trying to make me sweet again...and not a bitter young woman.

the second picture happened today. yep, clyde(my car) took a hit to the face. he has a black eye on his front bumper. a little parking lot mishap. luckily that is the only damage to me or him.

and this is me being crafty. i found this place mat and i LOVED it, but i only found one...and i needed four. i still could not pass this up. so i framed it! yep, i just stuck it in a frame and it looks great in my room!
i am feeling much better in regards to this certain area of life. it has taken a lot of running to the Lord, praying, and reading the Word with a cup of hot tea.

this is the passage that i have been clinging too this week: lamentations 3:1-24. just talking about how this prophet(i don't think we know who it is. maybe jeremiah. correct me if i am wrong.) has gone through a lot and is just feeling beaten up. but he remembers and experiences God's faithfulness.

these are the verses that jump out to me the most:

21 But this I call to mind,

and therefore I have hope;

22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness

24 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul,

'therefore I will hope in him.'

i will cling to these verses. and run to Him.

rio

so in early june, i had the opportunity to travel to rio de janerio, brazil and work with an organization down there called restore brazil . they have a vision for church planting and social justice.

we were there about 9ish days and were able to be involved with a VBS in the favelas(slums) of rio and encourage the local church.

a beach in the suburbs of rio

a view from sugarloaf mountain

on top of sugarloaf mountain

my friends in the favela

drinking out of a coconut in the airport

i found out about the trip my church was taking back in december of '09 and i had been praying about it when several things stuck out to me. the first thing that stuck out to me was an article that i read about how people in the favelas are feeling neglected from the rest of the city because the city wants to put a wall around the favela. here is the story if you want to read it! it broke my heart that these people were not feeling welcomed by their own neighbors so when i went i wanted to make sure they knew they were loved by Christ. and the other thing that stuck out to me was this song by 'enter the worship circle' (by the way, i LOVE 'enter the worship circle'! seriously, check them out!). i digress. the song is called 'give me your hand', and the last part of the song the lyrics go like this: 'there's none too poor, too dirty, too broken, too naked, too stupid, too drunken to be thrown outside HIS love.' i wanted the people of brazil to know this. right now, this is my heart song.

so there is a piece of my heart. thanks for listening.

i promise...

...i haven't fallen off the face of the blog-world.

i have been super busy with life and work. being an adult really takes it out of me! whew!

thanksgiving was great. it was so nice to be with family again this year. it was a great time for me to think back to this past year and just reflect on all that has gone on. i am so thankful and it all comes from the Lord.

so this past weekend, my family went to the Kansas-Missouri Boarder Showdown. and with a lot of work, the Tigers brought the showdown! it was a beautiful day and a great game. GO TIGERS!

mom and i at the game.

oh taste and see

i have recently been thinking. and thinking a lot. so much that it is probably driving me crazy and i have to stop.
and these are things that have been driving me crazy:
1. the past year (job, relationships)
2. the two years before that. (my time in poland)

i really thought that i would be 'over' my time in poland. that i would have let it go. but i haven't. i have actually learned this past weekend after thinking about it, that i am bitter towards missions. i just have a nasty taste in my mouth of it. even though that is what i did in poland.(weird i know. i am planning on studying more about missions just to learn the history and purpose of it from the word.)

but i must move on from there. to let it go. and continue to seek Him through it all.

i heard a quote recently from momma t(mother theresa) that goes something like this "we are not called to be successful, but faithful." it has been ringing in my ears as i reflect on my time in poland. it wasn't all that often that i was told to be faithful while there....but i know that HE was so faithful to me. which is utterly amazing.

so anyways, my spiritual life has been a little interesting recently. but this is the one thing that i can cling to:
psalm 34:8
taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

he makes all things good

so this month has been a little rough. just a lot of heavy stuff going on in the lives of my family and friends. one of the people that has had a harder go at it would be my aunt carri. normally when i see my aunt she asks me "why aren't you on a date?" or "when are you going to get yourself a boyfriend?" or "do i need to go bar hopping with you to pick up a boy?". so needless to say, when i am around her i am fully aware of my single life!(but thanks for the encouragement carri!)

but i am sure these days carri has bigger fish to fry than worrying if her niece will ever get married. she has come down with a case of the cancer.

i believe that it was the doctor that told her "you have cancer, but cancer doesn't have you." and that is so true. so we are going to fight this.

many question as to why or how? or why God?

and without hope(Jesus), we don't know the answer. but there is a reason.

this song sticks out to me(by Caedmon's Call). as He makes all things good. whether we 'think' or 'feel' that things are good or bad. there is a reason.(by the way there is no video with this song...just the song. enjoy!)

carri, the Lord is with you through all of this.

psalm 16:8 "I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for is is right beside me."

LOVE

just a quick update so you three that read my blog don't give up on me!

still searching for a job. had a few interviews. and now playing the waiting game to hear back from them.

but this past month has been painful and uncomfortable. not sure how to describe my feelings other than painful and uncomfortable. i hope that soon, things become natural and comfortable to me.

but this moves me:

romans 8:38,39

'and i am convinced that nothing can ever separate us(or me!) from God's love. neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fear for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us(me) from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

that is reassuring to me as i have no clue what is going on in life. but i can take hope that nothing will separate me from the LOVE of Christ.